5 Common Sexual Fantasies and Kinks

The ultimate state of sexual health is being at peace with your turn-ons and aligning with your partner to ensure you’re both getting what you need. Kinks and fantasies are all part of that. And while some of us may be reticent about sharing them with our lovers, it’s good to know that a lot of what we think is “far out” about our personal sexuality is shared by millions all over the world as comfortingly common sexual kinks.

FetLife, an online kink community, boasts more than 10.5 million members worldwide. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg! So, let’s look at 5 common kinks and fantasies to see where your erotic daydreams land! 

  • Role-Play

Role-play is one of the most common sexual fantasies on the planet, with people finding sexual excitement in costumes, disguises, and assumed personas. An important aspect of BDSM play, with its dominant/submissive power dynamic, role-play can be as innocent as partners pretending to be strangers meeting in a dimly-lit bar, or scenarios like the farmer’s daughter and the itinerant snake oil salesman. 

Costumes and disguises can be involved, with one partner dressed as a naughty school mistress and the other, a wayward pupil. Imagination is the name of the game and arousal, the goal, so role-play is a highly personal activity. As common sexual kinks go, role-play has something for everyone!

  • Edging (Controlling Orgasm)

Allowing your partner to control the timing of your orgasm, taking you to the edge of that sublime state before permitting you to go over, is also known as “surfing” or “peaking”. Throughout the process, the partner “on the edge” is repeatedly brought to that point while in a heightened state of arousal. Common sexual fantasies often explore denial/punishment as a nexus of desire.

Edging can be practiced by anyone, with the object being to submit to the control of your partner. We can’t always get what we want when we want it. And edging is near the top of our list of common sexual kinks as a delightful way to be taught that important lesson. When the orgasm you’ve been cruelly denied finally washes over you, it’s well worth the wait!

  • Impact Play

Flogging, cropping, paddling, and spanking fall under the rubric of impact play, which is the practice of consensual erotic striking. To avoid any misunderstandings, talk about impact play with your partner and to start, use a light hand. Establish a safe word as an easy out, should the going get too heavy. One of our most common sexual fantasies, impact play is enjoyed by people all over the world.

When delivered with the sexual desires of your partner in mind, impact play is an adjunct to sex play, adding intrigue, a distinct power dynamic, and erotic stimulation that takes your play into new and thrilling sexual territory. A common sexual kink, impact play is never practiced to harm but to produce sensation that transforms your erotic adventures.

  • Foot Worship

Foot worship (popularly known as a “foot fetish”) is often viewed with derision. But why should our genitals and secondary sexual characteristics have all the fun? Feet need love too and those who worship feet know that! Foot worship is no more weird or fringe than any of the other common sexual fantasies and kinks in this post.

Of course, like everything else erotic, foot worship has a spectrum. From gentle practices like massaging and kissing the feet, toe-sucking, or collecting exotic footwear to be worn in the bedroom to more “niche” practices like foot gagging and “trampling”, foot worship, as a common sexual kink, features incredible diversity of expression. Did you know that Quentin Tarantino is the poster boy of foot worship? You do now!

Woman laces up a pair of gladiator style high heels.
  • Voyeurism/Exhibitionism

Some people like to watch and others like to be watched while engaging in sex. To be clear, consent is key to the practice of this common fantasy. Watching other people have sex without their knowledge is a violation of privacy. So get permission first!

If you have a tendency to “forget” to draw the curtains before you start canoodling on the couch, you may be an exhibitionist. But if you find yourself reaching for the binoculars with the lights out so you can train them on your neighbor’s bedroom window, you’re a peeper and that’s illegal. Voyeurism/exhibitionism is always to be practiced with full consent of everyone involved, whether they’re in the audience or on the stage.

Top Drawer Toys, creator of the revolutionary Box Rocker, salutes your sexual health, including all your charming common sexual fantasies and kinks!

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